"I think an early application was mallets for self-defense," she says, after thinking for a moment. "Artless, of course, but you know how some people are. I suppose the logic is that if you're going to carry something bulky, it might as well be really bulky, regardless of whether you can do anything useful with it..."

She's sounding a bit less irritated now. God help us, she's actually warming a bit to the opportunity to show off.